“Comparison is the thief of joy.” That quote by Theodore Roosevelt has been one of my favorites for a very long time. It is also one I have to revisit often as I find myself constantly comparing, honestly more often than I care to admit. I mean how can we not compare these days when social media is so loud!?
Your feed is flooded with gym rats and their ridiculously toned bodies, that young couple kissing with a perfect sunset as the background, the guy that just purchased what seems like the 19th car this year, the typical Pinterest mom and her perfectly decorated home, and so on! Here’s the thing though, we don’t ever really get to see what goes on behind those images.
I’m going to list a couple of examples I know of and of course will leave the names out as this isn’t written to expose anyone. It’s so you can get a small idea of how sometimes we compare, without even knowing what’s really going on.
What you see: An image of a mom blissfully holding her twin babies.
What you don’t see: The mom still recuperating physically and mentally from the extensive amount of fertility treatments she had to go through to conceive those twins.
What you see: A college student enjoying herself traveling while you’re stuck at home, barely making ends meet with your part time job and wondering how the heck can she afford to travel.
What you don’t see: The college student’s dad working his butt off as well as the student selling her nudes for $$ on a well-known site. Yes really.
What you see: A girl thriving in her new job, looking like a real life superwoman, and posing with her perfect parents and brothers.
What you don’t see: That job is the only thing keeping her together as she’s still struggling with the aftermath of her childhood trauma where she was molested. Molested by one of her own family members from that perfect family picture you just envied.
What you see: A housewife with a spotless home and an instagram worthy meal on the table.
What you don’t see: That girl comes from a broken home and suffered a lot. The home she has now is her lifeline.
What you see: A young dad on yet another adventure with his kid. How in the world does he still have energy after working so many hours?
What you don’t see: That guy did not have his dad in his life growing up, he is determined to be the complete opposite of his father, no matter the cost.
What you see: A family posing in front of their extravagant magazine-like Christmas tree.
What you don’t see: The amount of hours the dad was not there in order to be able to pay for that house.
We could go on and on about how social media posts and photos can be so deceiving. Shoot, even we are guilty of it at times! Just a couple days back, I captured the cutest monthly milestone picture of my little one.. what you didn’t see was how frustrated I had been since the teething little one didn’t want to cooperate and how torn up the rest of the nursery was from me clearing out old clothes and toys she doesn’t use anymore!
My point is this mama, comparing is inevitable, but let’s try and take a minute to step back and be grateful with what we DO have so we can focus less on what we don’t. Once we scale back on the comparing, we’ll have more time to indulge in our self-care and be a happier and better version of ourselves.